Contest #2 winner & homelessness gets a name

First things first -- I must announce the winner of the second contest, "What is this gargoyle thinking?" I selected Katrina's answer "Holy c--p! I can see right into that hot girl's apartment!!" as the funniest. (Besides, anyone who has to endure sharing a name with one of the worst hurricanes in history should have SOMETHING go right for her!) Katrina will get a postcard with a picture of Notre Dame on it.

Second things second. My topic for the day is homeless people. There seem to be quite an abundance of them in our neighborhood, some more legitimately needy than others. Our friend Muriel says that you can tell which ones actually need the help because they are embarrassed to ask for it and usually won't get in your face. I have yet to give any money out, but there certainly is no shortage of hands reaching out for it.

Colin and I have started giving names to some of them. It's not intended to be cruel, mind you, but they are always doing strange things and we got tired of spending 5 minutes figuring out which bum the other person was talking about each time we had a story. So, five of them have names thus far:

1. Michael Moore is the guy who sits closest to the door to our apartment. He never asks for handouts, nor does he have a container to put anything in. But, he is ALWAYS sitting on the same park bench, reading a book and normally wearing a ball cap. (With his head down, he looks like Michael Moore of Farenheit 9/11 fame.) I actually kind of like him, in a weird way, because he just sits and reads like maybe he's not homeless but just enjoying the weather.

2 & 3. Patti and Selma are the twin homeless women just down the street. They are chain smokers and have wild gray hair like Marge Simpson's gravel-voiced sisters, hence the names. Selma is the more aggressive one, and tends to have more psychotic episodes than Patty.

4. Sideshow Bob is Selma's husband. We think. He might just really like her.

5. Crazy Guy might seem like a redundant name for a homeless person (not that all of them are mentally challenged, but many seem to be), but this guy earns his nickname. He is genuinely nuts. Colin recently saw a conductor have to get off his bus and talk to the guy so that he either wouldn't force his way onto the bus without a ticket or force his way in front of the bus. We've also seen the police have to hold him up because he's so drunk during the day.

And, as if all of this wasn't sad enough, I'll end with an unfortunate observation that will please the heck out of Beth (my co-worker who is an Ohio State fan): There is a homeless man down the street a ways who is wearing a Michigan Wolverines sweatshirt. I SO hope that Colin's degree serves him better!!!

On a related note -- Dad, send me a KU shirt so I can give it to that guy.